mike -- sorry for the SPAM
[taken from http://ugweb.cs.ualberta.ca/~stuart/monty/?file=dinosaur.pyt]
and i, too, have a theory:
>Television Host (Graham Chapman): Good evening. Tonight - dinosaurs. I have
> here sitting in the studio next to me an elk.
> Aaagghhhh! Oh, I'm sorry, Anne Elk, Mrs Anne
> Elk.
>Miss Elk (John Cleese, as a very prim lady): Miss.
>Host: Miss Anne Elk, who is an expert on the...
>Elk: No, no, no, Anne Elk.
>Host: What?
>Elk: Anne Elk, not Anne Expert.
>Host: No, no, I was saying that you, Miss Elk, were an, A.N. not A.N.N.E.,
> expert...
>Elk: Oh!
>Host: ...on elks - I'm sorry, on dinosaurs.
>Elk: Yes, I certainly am, Chris, how very true, my word yes!
>Host: Now, Miss Elk - Anne - you have a new theory about the brontosaurus.
>Elk: Could I just say, Chris, for one moment that I have a new theory about
>the brontosaurus?
>Host: Er... exactly. What is it?
>Elk: Where?
>Host: No, no, no. What is your theory?
>Elk: Oh, what is my theory?
>Host: Yes.
>Elk: Oh what is my theory, that it is. Yes, well you may well ask, what is my
> theory.
>Host: (slightly impatient) I am asking.
>Elk: And well you may. Yes my word you may well ask what it is, this theory
> of mine. Well, this theory that I have--that is to say, which is mine--
> ...is mine.
>Host: (more impatient) I know it's yours. What is it?
>Elk: Where? Oh, what is my theory?
>Host: Yes!
>Elk: Oh, my theory that I have follows the lines I am about to relate.
> (Coughs) Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.
>Host: Oh God.
>Elk: Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. Ahem.
> Ahem. Ahem. [Impatient noises from Host] The Theory, by A. Elk. That's
> A for Anne, it's not by a elk.
>Host: Right....
>Elk: This theory which belongs to me is as follows. Ahem. Ahem. This is how
> it goes. Ahem. The next thing that I am about to say is my theory.
> Ahem. Ready?
>(Host moans)
>Elk: The Theory by A. Elk brackets Miss brackets. My theory is along the
> following lines.
>Host: Oh God.
>Elk: All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much MUCH thicker in the middle,
> and then thin again at the far end. That is the theory that I have and
> which is mine, and what it is too.
>Host: That's it, is it?
>Elk: Right, Chris.
>Host: Well, Anne, this theory of yours seems to have hit the nail on the head.
>Elk: And it's mine.
>Host: (ironical) Thank you for coming along to the studio.
>Elk: My pleasure, Chris.
>Host: Er...Britain's newest wasp farm...
>Elk: It's been a lot of fun.
>Host: ...opened last week...
>Elk: Saying what my theory is.
>Host: Yes, thank you.
>Elk: And whose it is.
>Host: Yes. ...opened last week...
>Elk: I have another theory.
>Host: Not today, thank you.
>Elk: My theory number two, which is the second theory that I have. Ahem!
> This theory...
>Host: Oh look...shut up!
>Elk: ...is what I am about to say...
>Host: Oh please shut up!
>Elk: ...which, with what I have said, are the two theories that are mine and
> belong to me.
>Host: Look, if you don't shut up I shall shoot you.
>Elk: Ahem! My brace of theories, which I possess the ownership of, which
> belongs to me...
>
>(BANG!)
>
>(Pause)
>
>Elk: Ahem. The Theory the Second by Anne...
>
>(MACHINE GUN FIRE)
>
>
>**** End of DINOSAUR PYTHON 5/14/87